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this week i took over phone call and ad maintenance duties for the real estate biz. my brain is fried as a result-- or at least that's a convenient enough thing to blame it on. also worked my first night at the cafe since returning to va, and all i could think about all night was whether my robbers would return for the laptop before i got home. i dreaded not being able to find a nearby parking place, and having to make a late walk-- just general paranoia-- but the spot behind the building was open (a pure miracle after 6pm) and my apartment was unmolested. i've been hiding this laptop whenever i'm not at the apartment and leaving the old broken dell on the coffeetable, just in case... and i haven't been working out on the balcony, which is a drag. i should probably find a new roommate. or some chill pills.
in order to do this phones task, i have to be awake during the day, which has been a challenge. my body is completely confused. after the 2nd 9am wakeup day, i couldn't get to sleep at night (huh?), so last night i fell asleep around 6pm... and woke up at 1am this morn. not a particularly convenient situation, because i was hoping to pick up a shift at the cafe tonight. (rent is looming angrily, due to the extra hotel expense in florida.)
i feel completely drained of personality these past few days. i hadn't really noticed it until i found myself telling someone via email that i had cleaned my kitchen last night. as if he cared! i probably just need some sort of social interaction.
August 26 2005, 11:19:15 UTC 6 years ago
Wiped Out 2
Okay so I'm too chicken shit to post this on my own shiny happy lj page, but I'll tell you. But first congrats on the cleaning of the kitchen. I know how hard it is for some people to maintain that kind of order, the kind that involves cleaning. So when you think your life is shitty look behind the cutSo after two very hot days of heavy work in DC and NOVA i'm up at 0345 Wednesday to fly out to Oakland to see Cathy who's having rotator cuff surgery. I needed to be back the following tuesday to work another job. This disappointed her.
The plane backs over wet cement and they have to chnage a tire we are delayed until 0740 EDT Wed for takeoff. I should have seen this as a sign.
I fly I land I rent a car.(1435 EDT Wed)I find fedex kinkos with the help of Mappoint and the Blackberry she bought me and I call Cathy to give her the good news.
Now its lunch time and i can hear her chewing and I say wow I wish I could find some sushi around here. (1615 EDT wed) She gives me directions I find sushi at a Safeway and pick up the Ring 2. She gets home at a little after 4 (1900 edt wed) I kiss her and she looks at me funny and says I could tell you were here the toilet seat was up. My hands still on her ass after the kiss I smile and step back and ask her how she's feeling. She says fine and I go and get my laundry out.
She's mad that i didn't bring her any sushi even though we were supposed to go shopping for dinner and for stuff I was to cook the rest of the week so she wouldn't have to cook.
She says she has to go back out and I asked her what she wanted for dinner then and that I'd do the shopping. She said nothing and that she'd not worry about getting any food. I shook my head and took a nap. When she got back I went into the computer room andnshe was playing a video game so I went back to the bedroom to get the hardcopy of the novel i just finished. when i got back she was watching tv in the den so i joined her. It's 7 pm PDT( 2200 edt wed). She hops up and announces I'm going to bed. I said well i'll join you. I ask her what time we have to be at the surgical center she accuses me of screwing someone else in VA and i ask her if I had someone else why would I fly 3000 miles to spend a week with you??? She repeats it over and over and i snap. I go to the computer room get my laptop and open the sliding garage door. I put it in the rental car and come back to the bedroom where she's now fuming with anger screaming that i never wanted to come out there in the first place.
Now I'm pissed I'd spent money i didn't have to come out and be with her so now she's acting nuts and I have to get out. I get my grip and zip it up haul it to the car wearing old shorts and a tee shirt and head to the embassy suites up the road from the house (2235 edt wed)
They're booked solid. Frustrated I call jet blue to ask them what a return flight would cost to leave wed night. I tell the lady on the other end the whole story she can't beleive it she waves the flight change fee and for an additional 95 bucks I'm booked on the red eye to Dulles from Oaktown.
I change clothes in the parking lot of the hotel stow all my gear for flight and notice i still have her keys on my carabiner. Shit I drive back to her house and put them in the mailbox and drive away as fast as i can. (2305 edt thu) I actually make it to the Oakland airport without getting lost turn in the rental car and get on thew shuttle (2350 edt thu) I'm in the airport eating a burrito for dinner and reading Kurzweil's book on Spiritual Machines I'm calming down happy to be going to safety. Warts and all bad scene and all,I need Home.
We take off at 1045 (0145EDT thu)I sleep the bulk of the flight and we come a crisp landing at IAD at 0610 EDT thu.
So i learned two lessons: People want to keep home field advantage to remain in control. (The rental car gave me freedom. This was the first time I wasn't tethered to her by her vehicle)
I can't equate sex with love. There I've said it. I have to go along way to imagine giving up my personal freedom. I can see giving up my sexual freedom and being monogamous but the right to be me taken away by someone else's rules and dreams. NEVER!
Cheers!
1stcyborg
August 27 2005, 04:40:32 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Wiped Out 2
WELL AS MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID "LIER, LIER PANTS ON FIRE....." AND WHAT A LIER YOU ARE SPENCE... YOU WERE LAYING IN MY BED WHEN I GOT HOME AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET UP WHEN YOU HEARD THE GARAGE DOOR OPEN, THE CAR DRIVE INTO THE GARAGE AND ME GOING INTO THE HOUSE. KISS.. NO THAT WAS NOT A KISS IT WAS A PECK, SORT OF LIKE YOU WOULD GIVE A MAIDEN AUNT YOU DISLIKE. MY ASS....OTHER THAN THE PECK ON THE LIPS YOU DID NOT TOUCH ME....BOO HOO YOU LIE. I THINK YOU LEFT OUT A FEW THINGS IN YOUR "VERSION" OF THE STORY...LIKE HOW YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN I HAD THE SURGERY OH AND DON'T FORGET WHO ACTUALLY PAID FOR THE TICKET "NOT YOU" I DID AND I HAVE THE RECEIPT TO PROVE IT AND WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL THE FOLKS ABOUT HOW I HAD TO HAVE A RIDE TO AND FROM SURGERY AND "OOOOOPS" WHERE IS THE PERSON WHO SUPPOSEDLY WAS GOING TO DO THAT? MMMMMM NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE HOW CHILDISH!!!! I DIDN'T ACCUSE YOU OF ANYTHING I JUST ASKED A COUPLE OF POINTED QUESTIONS AND YOU FLIPPED OUT....AND THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW SPENCE KNOW HE CAN DO THAT, REAL WELL. OH AND JUST A LITTLE ASIDE ON THE SUSHI THING.....HE DIDN'T EVEN SAVE ME ONE PIECE AND HE ATE 3 PACKAGES...THIS IS THE MAN WHO PROMISED TO COME TO CALIFORNIA AND CARE FOR ME. THE SURGERY WAS ABOUT ME SPENCE NOT ABOUT YOU NOT ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE TOTALLY SELFISH YOU PICKED THE FIGHT BECAUSE I ASKED THE RIGHT QUESTION AND YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM A GUILTY CONSCIENCE. AND YOU ARE RIGHT LOVE IS ABOUT MORE THAN SEX BUT YOU STILL HAVE NOT LEARNED IT. YOU ARE WAY TO SELFISH TO LOVE......ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. NOW FRIENDS OF MICHAEL SPENCE I"LL LET YOU BE THE JUDGE... IF YOU PROMISE TO DO SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS TAKE SOMEONE TO SURGERY DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD FOLLOW THROUGH?August 27 2005, 05:12:58 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Wiped Out 2
ummm. Hope your roter cuff is doing ok now... could you turn CAPS lock off? A mix of cases is easier on the eyes.Thanx.
C.
August 27 2005, 05:21:06 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Wiped Out 2
FUNNY COMMENT....ABOUT THE CAP LOCK.... DID I SAY WHAT KIND OF SURGERY? MMMMMMMMAugust 27 2005, 05:29:18 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Wiped Out 2
Nah, M. mentioned it (8/13)in his LJ before he left. I'm Clay... the "Global Frequency" guy.CAPS typically shouting online...tho I can appreciate it if that's what you're trying to convey.
August 27 2005, 07:49:26 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Wiped Out 2
actually i'm not shouting it is just easier one-handed. what else did "m" have to say?August 27 2005, 04:53:39 UTC 6 years ago
FREEDOM......
JUST READ WHAT YOU WROTE AGAIN AND I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. I AM THE ONE WHO INSISTED HE RENT A CAR, AND YET WHY WOULD HE NEED IT UNLESS HE INTENDED TO RUN AROUND AND DO STUFF FOR HIMSELF BY HIMSELF WHILE I WAS HOME RECOVERING FROM SURGERY..... I AM SURE HE WOULD HAVE COME IN FROM THE GOLF COURSE TO EAT YOU WILL NOTICE I DID NOT SAY TO COOK FOR ME WHICH IS WHAT HE HAD PROMISED TO DO. PERSONEL FREEDOM....MMMM INTERESTING THIS COMING FROM A MAN WHO LIVES IN HIS FATHER'S HOME WITH HIS TWO SISTERS ONE WHICH HAS PROBLEMS. HE DOES NOT EVEN HAVE THE PRIVACY TO MASTERBATE IF HE WANTS TO. HIS FATHER CALLS HIM NAMES BEHIND HIS BACK AND HOUNDS HIM FOR MONEY...August 29 2005, 07:21:50 UTC 6 years ago
Re: FREEDOM......
if i had two sisters and only one of them had problems, i'd consider myself lucky. ditto if my father and i were in respective postions such that HE would hound ME for money. (NB: caps used for emphasis.) and by the way, if you would like to know what else "m" had to say, feel free to consult the above referenced text. C even pointed out the date of the entry in question for your edification... but surely you first read "m's" LJ (and were appalled that it did not mention you) before you started trolling his friends' list for a place to vent your spleen.